i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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