I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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