I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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