i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
