On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
