You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
