We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
