that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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