I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
