I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
