she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All I want is dick and wine.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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