You're completely useless in the revolution.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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