Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
