Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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