You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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