it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
