i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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