put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
