So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
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We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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