I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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