dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
