I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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