No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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