So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
