I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
