careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I love you.
Bad choice
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
