we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
