I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
