Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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