You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
