it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
