I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
