I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
