he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
