Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We got so high we made milksteak
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
