I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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