I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
