Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
