please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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