Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
