just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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