my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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