it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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