Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
