you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize