We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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