I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
