My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
