Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize