Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
