Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize