im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
