only you would photoshop your dick
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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