i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
