We're facebook friends in real life
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
