Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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