i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
