my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
