I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
