is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
