We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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