Buhtt sex?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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