Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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